Anxiety Monster - Rhona McFerran

                     Anxiety Monster - Rhona McFerran

Anxiety, Anxiety-

you creep, you lurk, you worry me

Mangy monster under my bed

on all my fears you must be fed

and when I try to starve you out

you stab me with a blade of doubt

 

You sneaky, scurrilous, savage beast

I don't hate you, but I like you least!

You are not cute or cuddly

why do I let you cling to me?

You're ugly and you're worrisome

you drain my joy and leave me glum

 

Anxiety, Anxiety-

I hear you've achieved notoriety

evidently I'm not the only one

you'll hassle them all before you're done!

'Though, I don't see how you find the time

to carry out your heinous crime...

 

For all day long, and nighttime, too

a hovering pest, too big to "shoo"

you hang around and taunt me fierce

by dangling daggers with which to pierce

I tremble in my delicate skin

but chin stuck out, I'm determined to win

 

Anxiety, Anxiety-

you will not get the best of me!

You've wasted enough of my precious years

you deserve no sympathy or tears

like the monster you are, you'll be destroyed

I've armed myself with the likes of Freud

 

While you watch me, I'll study you more...

know your every weakness- for this is war!

I'll vanquish you for once and all

I've armored up for the bloody brawl

but hey- what's this, a hasty retreat?

Don't tell me that you admit defeat!

 

No Anxiety, Anxiety-

you're devious, sly and slippery

Before you let me kill you off

you slink away to smirk and scoff

knowing full well that you'll come back

to get me with a sneak-attack!

 

Paraphrase

1st Stanza: Anxiety, you make me nervous and worried. You're like a scary monster hiding under my bed, feeding off my fears. When I try to ignore you, you make me doubt myself even more.

2nd Stanza: You are a sneaky and mean creature. I don’t hate you, but I don’t like you at all. You’re not nice or comforting. I don't understand why I let you stick around. You make me unhappy and take away my joy.

3rd Stanza: Anxiety, I know you’re famous for bothering many people. It seems like you will make everyone suffer eventually. I don’t understand how you have the time to bother so many people because you always seem to be around me.

4th Stanza: You are a constant annoyance, bothering me all day and night. You make me feel scared by threatening me with dangers. I am scared, but I’m determined to fight against you.

5th Stanza: Anxiety, I will not let you control me anymore. You’ve taken up too much of my time, and I won’t waste any more tears on you. Like a monster, you will be defeated. I’m preparing myself with knowledge to fight you.

6th Stanza: I’m learning all about you to understand your weaknesses because I am determined to defeat you. I’m ready for the fight, but it seems like you are running away. But don’t think you’re gone for good!

7th Stanza: Anxiety, you’re tricky and sneaky. Before I can completely defeat you, you hide away and laugh at me. You know that you’ll come back to bother me again with a surprise attack.

How does the poet Rhona McFerran illustrate the ongoing struggle between the speaker and the anxiety in "Anxiety Monster"?

Rhona McFerran’s “Anxiety Monster” describes anxiety as a frightening and persistent problem. Anxiety is a mental health condition characterized by excessive worry, fear, or apprehension. The poet addresses Anxiety which is always lurking around, causing distress. He also personifies it as various creatures with human-like qualities that make life difficult.

In the first stanza, the poet personifies anxiety as a scary monster hiding under the bed that feeds on the speaker’s fears. When the speaker tries to avoid or ignore anxiety, it causes even more doubt and worry.  

In the second stanza, anxiety is described as an unpleasant and troublesome violent animal. The speaker admits that while he doesn’t hate anxiety, he doesn’t like it at all too. The anxiety is not friendly or comforting, and the speaker questions why he allows it to remain in his life. Anxiety is depicted as something that drains his happiness. This stanza reflects the speaker’s frustration and self-awareness. It emphasizes the negative impact of anxiety on his emotional well-being.

In the third stanza, the speaker acknowledges that anxiety is a notorious criminal that affects many people. The speaker is puzzled by how anxiety can occupy so much time and energy, both during the day and night. Anxiety is described as a persistent nuisance that constantly causes fear and discomfort. Despite this, the speaker is determined to overcome it, standing firm against the fear.

In the fourth stanza, anxiety is personified as a “hovering pest”. Like a harmful pest, the anxiety hovers over the speaker day and night, threatening him with its sharp pricking stings. This heightens the sense of fear or vulnerability, as the speaker "trembles" in his "delicate skin,". The sting leaves a lingering sensation, a reminder of the anxiety and its ability to inflict threat. Despite feeling vulnerable, the speaker is determined to overcome the challenge. and to portray the speaker’s struggle as a battle

In the fifth stanza, the speaker shows his resolve to fight anxiety. He declares that anxiety will not control him anymore. He feels that anxiety has taken enough of his time and emotional energy. The speaker is ready to use knowledge and psychological tools suggested by Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis. Freud advocated a few defence mechanisms and therapies to defeat anxiety. While the speaker is preparing for a serious battle, he notices that anxiety is trying to escape or avoid defeat.

In the sixth stanza, anxiety is portrayed as an opponent in war, capable of retreat and defeat. The battle with anxiety is compared to a "bloody brawl," symbolizing a difficult and intense struggle.

In the seventh stanza, the speaker is surprised when anxiety seems to retreat, but he quickly realizes that anxiety is cunning and elusive. Even if it seems to be gone, it’s only temporarily, as it will inevitably return with a surprise attack. Anxiety is given human traits such as being "devious, sly, and slippery" and capable of "slinking away" and "smirking." The repetition of the "s" sound in "slink away to smirk and scoff" emphasizes the sneaky, elusive nature of anxiety.

The poem uses rich metaphorical language and personification to illustrate anxiety as an unwelcome, persistent presence. Each stanza builds on the speaker’s struggle and determination to deal with anxiety. Thus the poem highlights the internal struggle and the exhausting, ongoing effort required to manage and overcome anxious feelings.